Trying to change someone’s mind might just makes things worse.
So I’m really trying to practice pausing during difficult interactions. This way, I can respond instead of react. And more than that, I get to decide HOW I want to respond.
In the moments where I remember this practice, I have greater choice in what I say or do. I also get the opportunity to say or do nothing at all if that’s what I feel is appropriate.
It’s not always easy, especially when I believe that I’m right and the other person is so very, clearly wrong.
It’s 1 million times more difficult when it feels like a person is intentionally disregarding my feelings to pursue their own agenda.
In those situations, it can be helpful to assume ignorance instead of maliciousness. This helps create the space that I’m taking about, the space to respond without losing my temper and acting like a jerk face.
Because some people really are just ignorant, misguided, inexperienced, or uninformed.
And I know what you’re thinking. Some people are malicious, and mean, and interested only in their own gains. But pausing and practicing kindness gives me the opportunity to evaluate the situation and eventually distance myself from a person if that’s what makes sense.
And of course, there have been times when I’ve paused, that I find out that I was wrong and the other person was right.
Sometimes the best I can do is practice kindness and ride this shit out.