How Passion Works For Me

I like to camp at the Marriott, and forage the bar for cocktails, and tell ghost stories around the air conditioner.

That's “roughing it.”

Especially if there's no free wifi.

I can't imagine having to spend the night outside in the East Coast humity. That sounds like a punishment. I'm itching just thinking about it.

It's not that I don't enjoy nature. I like it very much, just not enough to sleep with it.

I feel like we're in the Friend Zone.

Also, I really don't like my routines to be disturbed because it brings up significant anxiety. And I'm not always in the mood to push through it, which is really what it takes for any sort of meaningful growth.

Most of the time, when I'm making choices, I have to pick the one that feels just a tiny bit less painful than the other. Possible change needs to stir some kind of passion within me.

There's been a lot of talk around the internet about passion lately. A quick Google search will bring you lots of interesting reading.

Some sites say you should follow yours into a career. Others say that's the worse thing you could do.

I'm not going to advise anyone either way, because I'm referring to passion in the largest possible context: As a force for change.

For instance, I don't like to travel. It's not that I don't want to see new places. I just find traveling to be a giant pain. There's long lines at the airport, unwashed people sitting next to me on the plane, lost luggage, and babies that scream the entire way across the Atlantic Ocean.

In spite of this, I did visit Germany when a former girlfriend was living there.

I loved her passion for her work as a dancer, her sense of humor, and her insecurities. I loved the way she was kind to me, and supportive, and understanding of my flaws. And she was beautiful, just the most lovely creature to ever walk into my my life thus far.

The opportunity to spend time with her had the power to smack me out of any compulsive routines. I got a passport. I left the country for the first time at the tender age of 39 to go to a place where I didn't speak a word of the language; I had a little picture book that I used to point to stuff I wanted.

Was it fun the whole time? No. But it was an investment of my life energy into something that I felt passionately about – a true intimate connection with an amazing person that I adored.

So, what's the lesson here?

It's possible for me to do amazing things. It's possible for me to break free of routines and habits.

If I'm passionate.

If I value the experience more than staying the same. If I value the opportunity more than I fear the change.

And also, when I'm passionate I'm successful, whether it's in music, or writing, or whatever. Passion makes me stick it out when things get tough.

It helps me to jump out of my normal comfort zone.

But still not into bed with nature.

This is my airport face.